Still Playing the Shame Game

Blessed breath Queens. This week’s vLog post is about #noshame and judgements. I am So over the shame of it all + judgment + negativity around self-expression + self-healing so #keepyourshame

This vLog post was written partially in response to the countless number of times that I have been questioned + judged about my own personal beliefs. We all have triggers no matter how evolved or enlightened we believe ourselves to be. I for one am still highly triggered by religious judgement. For example, even some of those who know me (best) have a hard time understanding how I can be a minister if I don’t believe in religion. My answer is really quite simple, I believe in love + life + connections. I believe in the power of compassion + prayer + healing.

The only labels that matter to me are the ones that I claim + create for myself.

“It took me a long time to figure out that when people think that they are judging you, it’s really the reflections of themselves in others that they are seeing as shadows that need to be banished.” ~ Minister, Innocence Smith

For those of you who are unfamiliar with me, my name is Innocence Smith. In addition to being an ordained metaphysical wellness minister and Sankofa priestess, I am also a wellness advocate specializing in trauma-informed self-healing facilitation and would speak from the platform of self-love, trust, and embodiment. I use my platform to speak to how low self-esteem, negative self-talk, and intergenerational trauma issues can contribute to why many women women continue to struggle with supporting and trusting each other. I am interested in changing the narrative to what we can all do to change that negativity and judgement through compassionate embodiment.

Women are often socialized and conditioned to be in competition and mistrust of themselves and one another. They are socialized and conditioned to measure their own self-worth through the opinions of others. Many women are taught that they are not enough and to constantly compare themselves to other women. I have found that tenets of religion is and has always been used to shame + repress + control women terms of sexuality and individual identity. I have felt that religion was not the answer to my problems since childhood. It was during this time that I first began questioning the narratives that I was told to live by in order to be “a good girl” which meant don’t piss off God or I would go to hell. I never found relief in any religious practice that I explored.

Many women have come to believe in the false truths about the inferiority, deceit, and helplessness of women who are hopeless emotional creatures devoid of a meaning and purpose without male domination. What I found was that women have been cast as suspicious characters in hyper-masculine dominated narratives of religion for far too long. Trust, integrity, and safety begin within and there is often huge differences between who we believe we are and who we present ourselves to be. I believe that embodiment practices allow us the spaciousness to adjust our attitudes about healing the feminine spirit and intergenerational trauma that women have been burdened with across the globe. Our societies have been conditioned to have untrusting relationships with feminine energies.  

Photo by Joshua Mcknight on

Research has shown me that a majority of women are taught to view other women (especially confident and centered women) with suspicion, distrust, and envy. When these women find themselves in the presence of other women who remind them of who they want to be or who they believe reflect what they fear the most, they often respond from fear, insecurity, or intimidation. Many of the women that I have worked with over the span of my career have never been taught to suspend their judgments and hold compassion for other women. I am doing my part to change the narrative of #selftraumatization with #selfcompassion for myself + others with embodiment for my own #selfhealing  

Embodiment is one way that I connect to the spirit of the ancestors. The simple practice of compassionate embodiment (i.e., non-judgemental conscious awareness) is a practice that can help women fully see and love themselves in order to expand their capacity to see others from a space of love and compassion. Time and time again, I have witnessed how embodiment can help us own, love, and trust our authentic selves as uncontainable and indescribable beings capable of re-scripting our inner dialogue when affirmations and meditations fail. Personally, I use the metaphysical practice of breathwork to help me heal my own intergenerational trauma.

My journey of self-healing continually teaches me that my purpose in living is to represent my own Queendom. I am okay not always being totally okay. I am a beautiful, complicated, compassionate, loving, well-intentioned mess most of the time. Breathwork helps me recognize + acknowledge my triggers without judgement. My breathwork practice allows me to be with all of the parts of me, not just the beautiful parts that I want the world to see because life is not always love + light. There is a intelligent balance of light + darkness + shadows that can not be overlooked in our quest for health + happiness. I try to always recognize the shadows + the light as I reflect my blessings from source with humility and grace. I am a woman who looks to the ancestors for guidance + protection

I would love to hear from you on this subject. How have you been shamed? Do you fear the shadows? What heals you? #whatsyourtrigger

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